The Will to Win in Every Part of Life

One of the basic needs of man is to feel accepted. Knowing this is the secret to establishing and maintaining great relationships with various types of people.

A number of books, articles and seminars have taken the role of educating people like you on the different ways of associating with people and building lasting relationships with them. There are several things that you can do when associating with other people.

One of these is to make them feel accepted. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, one of man’s basic needs is to feel a sense of belonging to a group. Man feels the sense of belonging in either small groups like a family and small circle of friends, or big groups like clubs, teams, associations, departments and parties.

People have to feel they belong and are needed. One way to convey acceptance of people’s ideas is by simply listening. Listening communicates the message that their thoughts are valued and their inputs are significant. It answers the very basic need to belong and provides a sense of importance.

Have you ever been in any of the following situations?
While sharing an important insight, somebody would finish the sentence for you.
While narrating what happened over the weekend, somebody would butt in and narrate a similar story.
In a meeting, the boss would cut you short while you are still explaining your side.
You ask your child about his day in school and he runs straight to his room.
You wanted to discuss something with your spouse but he is busy watching football.

How did you feel? Not good, right? It’s as if you are taken for granted. It’s as if no one is listening to you and that you do not matter. It signifies that your thoughts, concerns, and ideas are not accepted.

At the onset of life, an infant can feel this sense of acceptance from a mother who touches and caresses him in a loving way. As he grows older, his sense of acceptance and importance now comes from other family members, friends, teachers, peers, bosses, officemates, spouse, children, etc. Every person needs to be accepted. It puts meaning to a person’s existence.

Imagine a life with total absence of acceptance. Envision the life of babies who were abandoned by their mothers. Imagine the effect this will have on the babies’ emotional well-being. It is very possible that these kids will grow up dejected and feeling discriminated. The effects of discrimination can result to resentment and, if uncontrolled, can result to violent tendencies.

The feeling of resentment that is harbored overtime can escalate to anger and hostility. When a person becomes hostile, violence erupts. Resentment is like a forest fire - it can turn wild especially when fanned with more resentments. The mere civil act of accepting a person “can make or break them,” as the saying goes.

Acceptance must be done unconditionally. The giver should not expect anything in return. There should be no “no strings attached” or no commitments to fulfill. To expect something in return defeats the purpose of making others like you. In fact, this may only breed resentment, for it would appear that you are manipulating people by forcing them into a situation they may not like in the future.

Unconditional acceptance of other people’s thoughts, ideas, and concerns can yield favorable outcomes. Acceptance elicits cooperation and this leads to working towards a common goal. Acceptance yields positive and fruitful results. At the same time, you have raised the esteem, importance, and morale of the person whom you have accorded respect and acceptance.

Be willing to accept other people’s ideas, thoughts, and inputs. You will harvest not only good results, but also the admiration and appreciation of others, as well.

The act of giving your very best to the needy can likewise cultivate the best emotional satisfaction in your heart. Whatever form of help you extend, be it service or something of value, you will undoubtedly receive something better in return.

Is there anything better than a simple “thank you” that is meant with sincerity? Is there anything better than an appreciation that makes you feel needed and important? Is there anything better than to see smiles on other people’s faces for having made them feel equally important and cared for?

If your physical resources are limited, you can put your talent or creativity to work. Your urge to help those in need should inspire you to find ways in accumulating resources to actualize your intention. You can come up with ideas to generate more money through fund raising programs. You may also give more of your time doing volunteer service.

In the process of giving your all, your cooperation, attention, and entire being need not be strained. You may get physically exhausted; but emotionally, you will be charged with a heart full of compliments, making you feel all-important. You will feel revitalized and invigorated. You will become more enthusiastic. All these occur because you love what you’re doing.

When you set your mind to work for a good cause, you are actually tapping and activating power that promotes health in every corner of your physical, psychological, and emotional being. Your emotions will run high in a positive manner. You will feel sentimentally contented with what you are doing. You will feel as though you’re the highest paid executive in the business; not because you’re being paid with money, but because you’re being paid with your own sense of fulfillment.

Oh yes………….when you give your all, the best will bounce back to you.

A person’s fear can hinder his chances for development and for success. Fear in itself can be debilitating and can limit a person’s ability to go through life in a healthy way. Sometimes, a person’s fear can rule a person’s life and he becomes bereft of reason.

A person who allows his fear to rule his life can be prevented from leading a normal life. The sad fact is that the person who has the fear is not the only one affected, but also his family, friends, and the people around him.

Fear can be healthy because it allows a person to be on his toes and to be watchful of what is happening around him. A person can actually make his fears work for him instead of against him. Then again, this requires a lot of self-control and positive thinking.

A person’s fear can be caused by an event that happened some time ago, or by a belief that he is not capable of dealing with something or someone. There are fears that have a real basis, but most fears are just the creations of one’s imagination.

Phobia is also a fear of something, but such fear can be considered irrational. A phobia can be ridiculous and exaggerated such as a person’s fear of cats or of water. Some people who have developed phobias are aware that the fear is not based on rational thinking; but unfortunately, they are not able to get hold of their emotions and rise above their irrational fear.

Some people are quick to equate phobia with insanity; but it is not fair to conclude that just because a person is phobic, it means that there must be something wrong with his sanity. A person’s phobia can sometimes be embarrassing, especially when he is not able to control such fear. There are people who actually shiver and hide when confronted with their phobias.

Phobias can be simple like the simple fear of being in an enclosed area, or complex like the fear of riding an airplane. A social fear can be manifested in the fear of public speaking or of being surrounded by a crowd. Most phobias are characterized by panic attacks such as when the person is confronted by his phobia and he is forced to come face-to-face with it.

It is normal to be afraid because fear is rational. However, a fear that becomes irrational and is already without basis, is already called a phobia. It is no longer normal and can disrupt a person‘s lifestyle.

A person who wants to get rid of his phobia should not turn to doctors who dig deeper just to discover the root cause of the phobia. Such an activity can be a waste of time because finding the underlying cause of the phobia will not get rid of it. What is more important is to be determined and strong-willed so that the person’s fears will no longer rule his emotions. If a person can learn how to handle his emotions, then he can get rid of his phobia.

Do you put off your work for later, only to find your deadlines steadily creeping in? Then you, my friend, are one of the millions of people afflicted by the procrastination virus. Procrastination is the biggest reason for loss of productivity and late output. Though many would not admit it, they would benefit greatly if they start their work on time.

For many people, putting off their work for later is more habit than desire. It can be so hard to get into a groove where starting your tasks in a timely fashion is a priority, especially if the consequences for being late are things that one can probably bear.

If you are one of these people, yet you desire to shake off your propensity for procrastination, then you have come to the right place. Here are a few tips to help you overcome this dilemma and become a more productive and reliable person.

1. Set schedules
   It is very important that you have a list of activities to accomplish per day. This will help you realistically budget your time and resources. One of the cardinal sins people commit in regards to performing their tasks is to put off their work because they feel like there is so much time left. A journal, organizer, or calendar of events will help you plan and schedule your task so that you can start them promptly and finish them on time.
   
   
2. Save the Vacation for Later
   Many people put their work off for later saying, “I'll just have a little fun then buckle down to work later.” While it may be true that they may have more than enough time to accomplish their tasks, it would be better if they finished their work first and relax afterwards.
   
   Wouldn't relaxation be sweeter if it were after a taxing job? If you choose to lay back and relax before doing your tasks, you will be more prone to burnout and will have nothing exciting left to look forward to after accomplishing a task. It is always better to have slack period AFTER a job than before one, especially considering that people are wont to overusing their slack time. This is suicide if you are heading towards a deadline.
   
   
3. Never Underestimate Your Tasks
   Sometimes procrastination sets in because people underestimate the resources, difficulty, and time spent for a particular task. They will usually say, “It's just mowing the lawn, its easy; I could do it in a jiffy.” The problem is, no matter how trivial the task, it still takes time and resources to accomplish. If you underestimate a task, you will most likely set too little time to do it and schedule it too close to its deadline.
   
   
4. Don't Allow Yourself to Get Comfortable Doing Nothing
   It would definitely help if you kept a subconscious alarm whenever you are doing nothing. Get this alarm to remind you of things that may need to be done. This will help you foster the notion that jobs accomplished now means more time for relaxation later. However, even if this is the case, do not forget to put ample time in for rest and to remove all thoughts of troubles before hitting the sack. The trick here, however, is not to overdo you rest. There is a difference between resting and idling. Always set the right amount of time for rest and stick to that schedule.

The human brain is the soul of the human nervous system. It controls involuntary activities such as respiration, digestion, and heartbeat, which are also known as automatic functions of the body. This organ also controls other conscious activities that are considered as higher order activities like reasoning, abstraction, and thought. The human brain is superior to any other brain of any other living species that are known to humankind.

The brain is also the center by which other human characteristics are defined. Creativity, for example, is much associated with the brain. So is personality. The brain lets us make decisions and define colors and smells. This organ controls every other perceived activity of the human body.

However, the human brain, as strong and as invincible as it may look, is not going to stay that way forever. As with any other part of the body, the human brain will wither in the future. One’s lifestyles and all other external factors will take toll against the human brain. As one grows old, the human brain will become slower in terms of functioning and rejuvenating itself. However, there are ways on how to enhance the power of the human brain as age catches up. This article tries to give some useful tips on how to do just that.

1. Live a healthy lifestyle.

The brain is an integral part of the human anatomy. It is probably the most important organ in the body; but of course, we all know that every other organ in the body works for the others to function properly. The human brain is subject to the lifestyle of the person who owns it. If the person loves alcohol, he may not fully reap the powers of his brain. Alcohol and other dangerous substances destroy brain cells. An alcoholic will argue that, “I’ve been using only ten percent of my brain, drinking will activate the other 90% of it.” This is a total fallacy. This premonition was formulated in the 1800s and there is no truth in it. The brain is a lifetime organ, so we must preserve and protect it.

2. Eat the right foods.

Eating the right sets of food will definitely benefit the brain. The brain is the most active part of the body. Even when one sleeps, the brain remains active and vibrant. The brain will appreciate it if one eats the right and balanced sets of food. The sad thing is that the brain is usually taken for granted when it comes to having a balanced meal or a workout because people are so focused into developing their outside looks. It’s about time that we give the brain a break.

3. Engage in proper exercise.

Proper exercise is good for the brain and not only for the body. The human brain needs a well-balanced life.

4. Release stress once in a while

Releasing stress is necessary to be able to clear the brain from all the difficulties and the clouds in one’s life. One must take time to get into a relaxing mood and a good night sleep.

The brain is an organ to be cherished. No individual will ever be able to live his life to the fullest if his brain is not functioning well. A brain that is cared for will result in a more active and fulfilling life.

What do you really want in life?

Most people don’t discover what they want in life until it’s time to die – and that’s a shame.

Most people spend the best years of their lives watching television or doing things they dislike. An author described humanity by saying, “Most people die at twenty and are buried at eighty.” Are you one of the living zombies?

What do you really want in life?

Some people struggle in answering such question. When asked what they want or what their goals in life are, many are unsure. They dillydally in their decision, hardly giving any thought about what they want in life. People without definite goals are letting time pass them by. Are you one of these people?

If you are undecided about what you want out of life, do not worry. There are many ways of discovering your purpose in life.

To discover what you want in life, try looking deep into your heart. Oftentimes, people are ruled by logic. People live by what they think they should be or by what others like them to be. The discovery process is the perfect time to listen to your heart. What your heart desires comes from the whispers of your authentic self. Your authentic self is the real you.

Listen to your heart to be able to listen to your authentic self. What your heart says usually feels right. What your heart desires is what you usually love to do and this represents your passion. Anything done with passion is like play where the task is accomplished without hesitation. You pour out your very best and feel no pressure or resistance.

You will totally enjoy doing things that are your passion. Setbacks, difficulties, and obstacles will make it more challenging, but should not deter you from pursuing your goals. Naturally, there may be barriers that may prevent you from reaching your goal, but your heart’s desire will find ways to overcome these barriers so that you may ultimately get what you want in life. Remember this: the universe supports people who are pursuing their passion and those who are pursuing their destiny.

However, this does not mean that you don’t use your head. People are born with both the mind and heart. Your duty is to live your best life and be in harmony with your mind and heart. The poet Rumi wisely said, “Live completely in the head and you cannot feel the breath and rhythm of life. Live completely in the heart and you may find yourself acting like a love-struck fool with poor judgment and discipline. It’s all a fine balance - the head and heart must forge a lifetime partnership if one wants to live a beautiful life.”

Listen to your instinct. Part of human nature is the mysterious and spontaneous reaction on things. Often times, these are called instincts. Your authentic self communicates with you and guides you via instincts. Instincts are those gentle nudges that urge you to act and follow a certain path. Your role then is to listen attentively.

Often times, we listen to what others say and allow them to run our lives. Parents often do this to their children. “We come from a family of doctors, so my son must also be a doctor.” How often do we hear this from parents who have good intentions for their children? Parents unconsciously block the true expression of their child’s real self and calling. Friends and critics will discourage you and point out the impossibility of your dream. Before heeding their advice, evaluate the accomplishments of the critics. Did they achieve theirs dreams? Do they dream big at all?

Remember, it is your destiny that is in line, not theirs. It doesn’t mean, though, that you will not listen to what other people say. Hear them out just the same. But the final decision should be yours.

There is only thing to remember: Every person, to live truly and greatly, must define how he wants to live and what his brightest life will look like. Listen to your instincts and follow your heart’s desire. You will never go wrong.

People communicate with each other in various ways for a lot of reasons. And one of these reasons is when you need something from someone. For people in business, this can either be in the form of products or services. You may want to sell a product while the other party must find your product useful for his intention. You may want to offer your services while the other party must be satisfied with the services you render according to his needs. In short, the way to get somebody or anybody to do what you want is to make them want to do it.

To get something you want through intimidation or violence is to invite trouble. Yes, it’s possible but not advisable to use forceful methods because the results are undesirable and at times disastrous. Imagine if you force an employee to take a leave of absence for having apparently violated a company rule. The relationship between management and the employee, or perhaps between management and union (if the employee is a member of it), is likely to be severed.

To get what you want, give people what they want. Just what do people want? Physical health, family ties, financial security, spiritual growth, peace of mind, a successful career, and fame are the basic needs of people. There is one important yet intangible thing everybody wants and that is appreciation. Being appreciated and complimented makes a person feel important. When you feel important, you feel needed and wanted, and this gives you a whole lot of reason for existence.

Just how do you give somebody the feeling of importance? Say it, act it; just give it freely, honestly, and wholeheartedly. As literal as it is, saying how appreciative you are for a favor received, makes the other person feel important. You may not be able to describe exactly in words the feeling of importance when you’re in the shoes of the recipient. But definitely, what you can not describe is real and priceless.

Pre-empt importance. Give some sort of sign to the other person that what you want from him, will make him feel important. Let’s take charity for example. A recipient wants or needs contributions from the giver. It can either be material or service contribution, or both. Even before the act itself, the giver somehow expects appreciation from the recipient and this will give him a boost of importance. Appreciation may not necessarily be in words. A smile and/or a pat would suffice and they can come from both giver and recipient. The giver shows his feeling of being appreciated. The recipient shows his feeling of appreciation for the gift. Somehow magic or chemistry takes place. It’s a feeling both parties would enjoy happening many times over.

Are you aware that the feeling of importance, brought about by compliments and appreciation, is good for your health, mentally and physically? Whether you are the giver or recipient, it is good for both. There are medical findings that substantiate health effects brought about by positive emotions like compliments and appreciation. Frequent doses of the feeling of importance activate the brain cells and various harmonies in the body that promote good health. To put it plainly, the feeling of importance is the antioxidant of life.

Can you think of a better way to nourish other people’s feelings than to show your concern and appreciation? Well, you can show something better than appreciation, and that is - a truckload of appreciation.

You know what you and I and everybody else should be doing right now? We should go out there and show our feeling of appreciation to everything and everybody. Let’s go!

While the term depression has been commonly used that people tend not to take it seriously anymore, it is a very serious condition that could impair one’s life. Depression is very difficult. It can debilitate one’s normal functions, making even the most mundane tasks such as getting up from bed or eating breakfast seemingly difficult. It is sad to think that a lot of depressed individuals are not treated because of the high costs of therapy. However, coping with depression is still possible without professional help if one knows depression management. Here are a few things that can help people deal with depression, it is important to note however, that professional therapy is still very invaluable with serious depression. These steps are just suggestions for alleviating the condition.

Staying active is one way to take one’s mind off depression. Primarily, activities help distract people from whatever it is that is causing their depression and it also helps channel unspent energies that build up when one is depressed. Keeping active also releases endorphins – natural mood boosters that somehow cheer people up.

It is also important to take a rest. Being depressed can be very exhausting, so it is essential to regain strength and energy if one is to deal with depression. Relaxation techniques can help one be more attuned to the self and be more at peace. When resting, stressors should be kept away from the bedroom so that ample rest can be obtained.

Depressed people should also express their emotions. Depression usually results from suppressed emotions. People who are grieving can be prone to depression if they keep their emotion to themselves. A lot of people avoid crying because they think it might be a sign of weakness. However, it is important to cry because it releases one’s emotions. When expressing feelings, it is important to avoid catharsis – venting up one’s anger by doing something violent like boxing, smashing things, and the like. Catharsis does not release one’s emotion, especially anger. Rather, it makes a person practice violence as an expression of emotion, and thus can be very dangerous.

Hang around with friends and loved ones. Depressed individuals need support very much. Other people can distract one from stressors. People can also remind a depressed individual that there can be more to life, and it is worth living even if it is simply because of the company of wonderful people.

Lastly, it is important to believe in oneself. A lot of people get depressed because they put themselves down. It is important to satisfy oneself and gain a sense of self-worth. It is good to do something that would make one happy. Prioritizing one’s self can help one to believe that one’s own life is important and can be enjoyed. Being kind to oneself is one of the most important steps to get away from a depressive state.

Depression management is possible and entails taking charge of one’s self. When dealing with depression however, it is important not to rush. Sadness does not disappear overnight; it takes time to get back on one’s feet. Little by little, one can get out of depression and have a normal life once more.

Childhood years are the best times to learn. Somehow, a person’s comprehension is at its peak during childhood. Parents should take advantage of these learning years to ingrain the values of life in their children.

If you’re a parent, teach them positive habits so that they will know and see the beauty that life has to offer. Make them enthusiastic about life. Instill into their hearts and minds all the wonders and magnificence of being alive by living life to its fullest in a positive way.

There’s a startling difference between children learning through self-discovery, and children learning through self-discovery with proper guidance. The first things that children learn are usually the things that stay with them and mold formative years until they reach adulthood.

Let us suppose you let your children learn through self-discovery. To a certain extent, self-discovery is good since it develops full independence and self-reliance. However, the learning process might be slow. In a sense, it is like a trial and error experience for children. They have to segregate the good from the bad, the right from the wrong, what they like and what they don’t. It is most likely that what they will like are the ones that come easy to them or the ones that they enjoy the most. And the ones that they enjoy the most might not necessarily be the good ones. Without proper guidance, what they like and enjoy the most might actually be hurting them although they are not aware of it. Perhaps later, if they find out that they picked the wrong choices, it may be too late.

With self-discovery through proper guidance, you will be able to leave room for them to develop independence and self-reliance. At the same time, show them what is right and what is wrong. Explain to them why. If possible, cite instances or examples based on true-to-life events to make them more convincing and realistic. The more realistic they are, the more easily the children are convinced. Likewise, try teaching them in a friendly and humorous atmosphere. Children are more attentive and eager to learn when all (both teachers and students) are in an easy mood. You will know and feel their eagerness to learn through the sparkle in their eyes and by the way they answer your questions. You can be sure that what they learn from you is acceptable to them and will stay with them. That is why, as a parent, you must show enthusiasm in life to your children.

There’s a third method of making children learn. That is through proper guidance leaving negligible room for self-discovery. But there are drawbacks. You take away from them the benefits of self-reliance and independence. The guidance you devote to them may be good and well intended, but they must not rely on you on almost everything they do. They become decision-dependent on you. There are instances wherein this type of guidance might be worse than giving no guidance at all.

There are parents who underwent hardships during their childhood, strived, and became successful financially. Although they are financially in the position to guide and assist their children to a better life, they prefer that their children undergo the same difficult experience they underwent during their younger years. Their reason: so that their children will value and experience the same things they went through. This may be applicable to stubborn and rebellious youngsters, but not to disciplined ones. Why must their sons and daughters repeat the same difficulties? There’s no reason to. This is like punishing the innocent. Instead of repeating the experience, they should learn from it. Life is too short to repeat unsavory experiences.

One of the best ways to broaden your children’s knowledge about life is by traveling. The world - its varied people, places, and cultures - has a lot of information to offer. It is perhaps as important as the conventional classroom. If you are financially able, traveling is one of the best educational experiences you can give your children. Look for exhibits or world fairs, and take your children there. Books are the next best things. It’s traveling by reading.

Fill your children with thoughts of self-importance, confidence, and positive attitude so that there will be no room for negative thinking. More importantly, fill their world with laughter, love, and understanding. You‘ll never go wrong.